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|Monday, September 23rd, 2013|
i want these old colors schemes i use to have the whole purple on black and green on blue shit... any one know how to do that? Current Mood: tired
Holy shit! the last time I wrote in this thing was 2003!! wow.... lets see what happens.. i reaaaaaally need to start writing again... i miss it soo much... i sit and wonder "why dont i create anymore?" but this whole info reclaimation took along ass time.. lol... and im going to sleep.. Ha Ha all these years later and i still requier sleep... if not more than usual.. plus actually finished krugers lyrics too!! cant wait to record this shit! the hamster wheel is about right b-t-dubs. Current Mood: productive
|Wednesday, April 30th, 2003|
|Saturday, April 12th, 2003|
i just noticed that i totally fuck the spelling on many words in that last one...sorry, im really fucking tired
|Friday, April 11th, 2003|
well......the coolest fucking thing in the world(up to this point) happened to me last nite........and its that cool to me..im sure a few will understand....well here it is........
WE OPENED FOR MINISTRY LAST NITE AND IT WAS THE COOLEST SHIT IN THE WORLD. we played with Motorgrinder and Lolipop Lust Kill and the almighty Misitry...everyone was super fucking cool...words of encouragement and props were given by the other bands we made some good conections. someone from Noname, and we are getting our weed covered little mits on Dino's number(yeah that "Dino")
um.........what else....oh yeah, fuck the ghetto ass security guards at the Villa Real...everything else was good.
TOday:(or so it seems)
cleaned the house
ate little next to nothing
spent two fucking hours on a part that could have been negotiated in like ten minutes
went to john's
went to sleep(a prediction, this one)
|Wednesday, March 26th, 2003|
once again it has been along time sence i have written in this thing. um......(as the title goes)had a pretty good show last Saturday, no equipment failures or anything. actually got paid, which kinda helped with my court cost.......didnt get tested. things are okay for the time being..tomorrow is my birthday..nothing will happen...
um....watching "Speck", not as good as"Bundy", the whole last name thing is kinda corny to me but fuck it. he had somefucked up shit to say, it was graphic in that aspect. need to get a j.o.b. gonna go rent the new Hellraiser and maybe go to jakes and smoke, i dont know......mom is pestering.....alot!!!!!!! Current Mood: blank
|Friday, February 21st, 2003|
You are Pretty Hate Machine. Emotional, angry,
carnal, you are a dichotomy of love and hate.
You may have been scarred deeply in the past.
You also may love someone deeply, even if
he/she is inaccessible, or has hurt you. Try to
forget the past, and free your heart, because
you are no doubt a beautiful creature. Which Nine Inch Nails album are you? brought to you by Quizilla
this test once again puts me rest that i can be figured out thru a series of test and be told who to be
|Monday, February 3rd, 2003|
|put in the ground and cover me in dirt.....
well i took another test about my person as a drink. i guess it was kinda on the head as far as the party thing goes. hehe i know i suck.
well i havent been on this thing forever. im not even sure if i talked about the trip to washington. just in case i havent IT FUCKING SUCKED, yeah i just checked, i havent vented....but i dont even want to talk about it...but hey tony if you read this..sorry bro....but i guess it just wasnt the time...i apologize man...
things are going pretty ehhh..
at first we came pretty frustrated (me & jake) i havent been able to shake this "i feel like shit all the time" feeling. well i have, but it still lingers like a fart in a car. but we did get some good news that has kinda made the band feel better. we might just be picked up and supported by a production studio out of houston i dotn really want to say to much, i dont want to jinx it or look dumb...it hasnt gone thru, we havent seen any paper or anything but we should be hearing some word as of to how it is coming along so.but i still have court on the 14th, queen is runing from the cops and has been staying at my house, as to keep him out of trouble.......but that still doesnt work. we almost got arrested again..goddamn..i think it might be a sign...of course, im met with resistance when i bring it up that maybe we should take it easy for a little. at least untill things get setup......right now "we need to keep you two out of jail." at least thats what wendy says. so shes getting us some big ass lawyer er something to keep us out, i dont know how the fuck that is supposed to work but lets see what happens...but i must out gots to take moms to the store..later
I'm a Vampire, discover your ALcoHoLiC personality! Current Mood: blank
|Friday, January 10th, 2003|
|much shit about to happen...
well im getting ready for another trip up north with jake and this time adam...this should be interesting, better than taking queen with us....more cash for shit...i guess...
have a show in mexico tonite...our first time ever..hopefully the crowd will be good and not like the last one we did...but it was the wrong crowd. but tonite will be better. need to take a camera or video for this one. cant wait to kill this shit and show mex what the fuck is up. much throwing down will happen.
also we are getting to lay down dummy tracks for our next demo on sunday right before we leave for north. hehehe i like life at the moment...
why do mother fuckers have to act like they cant like music..even though they like it, they would never dare show the darklord they might like something else besides whatever thier friends like.
dont get me wrong i like black metal along with all the other flavors that make up metal but that would include us...... i stopped that whole "if its not _____ it sucks" but i guess thats why we make music and dont turn shit away just cause the ppl making the music are not black leather clad vikings, er whatever the fuck they think they are...just very closed minded down here...the metal has been down here for along time...so you know, whatever they like it. but blink 182 shirt rolls into town and starts the punk explosion and now everyone thinks they are from the fucking 70's pretending to be some gutter punk. i have heard like two good punk bands sense i have been down here and they dont carry one like these dipshit fucking brats playing music with mom and dads credit card, they have no respect for what it take to do this shit "take care of your own shit and fuck the na sayers" thats the way shit should be, but alas it is not...enough complaining, good day to all Current Mood: contemplative
|Wednesday, January 1st, 2003|
|revelations of open eyes
welllllll it is now offically the new year. um...well..i spent the rest of my nite going thru old letters. no one writes anymore...found Sara's letters hummm...want to speak to her again...i knew her for a while while i lived in louisiana..kept in touch for such along time. we were always writing to each other.
ever met someone and something happens, something you had never felt just noticing someone. it doesnt happen. dont think it has happend sense, not like that. she was just cool. started talking like we had known each other for ever. i can never forget the day i met her.
havent written to her in along time(i moved). great friends and we hardly ever even saw each other. started going over old letters and saw the words written......need to pay more attention to things...need to wake up...there are so many things that i have let fly right by me for so long...time to make things count(i guess)
happy new years again everyone...happy new years sara(as if you would see this, starnger things have happened)
Wake your mind up clear your eyes up
Move and rise up before your times up
Clock is ticking your caught slippin
Stop to realize look and listen Current Mood: optimistic
|only nine more turns left
went to jakes to smoke with vic and everyone showed up at the same time..pretty cool. road around for like two hours listening to cypress hill and radio. smoked quite a bit...3 j's and a blunt-o. no kiss this year...but i didnt really go out. jaoquin called but i really didnt feel like going out right now. adam is all depressed and shit in mex....went as far as to leave a message wishing all in my family and happy new year...oh and he loves us....HAHAHAHA, what a punk ass, hahhaa(j/k). hummm.......nothing else to report..ummm..
happy new year to you and yours, shit, happy new year to some of the ppl i dont like....you know who you are...um...maybe this year i wake up...2003....
|Sunday, December 29th, 2002|
fucking adam is back in town. we are about to go to the mall...for what i dont know.
i was pretty happy eating my burger and reading Red Dragon..(have to read it before i see it) but its off to the mall adam abad is here....heheh later. oh yesterday was alright..more on that later, assholes Current Mood: awake
|Saturday, December 28th, 2002|
|nope...not a damn thing is up...
woke up...no work....somked a cig....started going thru some old letters from friends...realized that in no way did i keep up like thay kept up with me......see...im a dick..hehehe
i found sara's letters all kept nice with a rubber band, in cronological order....very deep person..even for when those letter we written..not like she wasn't at that time. i wasnt smart enough to pick up on it. i wonder what shes been up too....been a long time....hehe good letters ...
good breakfast...sort of. mom cooked the bacon with no hog. gonna go smoke a blunt with mike in a little. everything should pan out alright for today. no danger in site, ill see what the day yealds, and report back in quicker than two shakes a jack rabbits ass Current Mood: annialistic(not on the list)
|Wednesday, December 25th, 2002|
|(word of choise) Christmas
i will start this entry by saying, i wish i didnt feel the way i do today.
"i can feel my spirt leaving, see me pychotic, see me jumping off the deep end. friends like you who really needs em. your smiling face is so misplace, your so deciving, i cut to my wrist to feel them bleeding. see me pychotic, see me jumping off the deep end."
its harsh, i know, but even before i woke this morning i wash already fucking with my self, dreams about pointless stupid things i cant just fucking drop...then i have to go work. i really dont want to..ppl that are in a worst mood than me telling me what to do isnt going to sit right...then the hours that i will spend going over and over the last things i should be thinking about...i want to hang out with my band(friends), i would like to hang out with my family but i dont want to be here when my ex shows up. What the fuck is that....she got closer to my family so now she hangs with them. EHHH! dont need to be here for that. she got me some homer slipers, i like them and everything,..... but its not the same. makes me sadder than anything....i just dont need to think about her. i dont need to think about things i cant change(or see them). i just want to have a good day maybe go to a party and see my ppl.....tomorrow i can go back to regular life and shit. im just ruining the mood and shit and i dont want to do that, but alas it is too late for that one. i wish i had a show...that would help. FUCK!!!!i just ripped the pockit on my pj pants that i just fucking got.....goddamnit. need to leave the house and not come back till much later..i mean the ritual christmas was okay i got gifts and stuff and no complaints there. a frame for the article, some munchies, and pj pants, and the slipers. just bad dreams..no rest...got to me, killed my morning
heheheheheh work. well one down more to go.holiday peeps...heheheh
decapataion or quadrapaligisism. its christmas for everyone, thank you for letting me vent muffin.
|Friday, December 20th, 2002|
totally fucking forgot all week. Joaquin calls me up and lets me know that the news paper is out......HEHEHEHE FUCKING ARTICLE IN THE MONITOR. A VALLEY WIDE NEWS PAPER WITH A NICE BIG FUCKING PICTURE, TWO PICS, ONE BAND AND ONE OF THE VOCALIST AND NNICE SIZE ARTICLE...IT FUCKING RULES. EXCPET FOR THE DIP-SHIT PRODUCER WHO HAD TO SNEAK HIS FUCKING WAY INTO THE FUCKING ARTICLE, LIE ABOUT OUR PLANS TO "RECORD" WITH HIM...WHICH WE ARE NOT, BUT FUCK THAT GUY. EITHER WAY VERY GOOD, VERY HAPPY WITH THE PAPER AND THEN A SHOW ON SUNDAY.....HEHEHE....TONITE MUCH CELEBRATION TO BE DONE..HEHEHHEHEHEHEEE FUCKING fED OF me MOTHER FUCKER Current Mood: happy
|Saturday, December 7th, 2002|
well i think i have written in this sence i left for indiana.
to make a long story short..went up north, had a great time. work sucked ass but we got paid good..most of the money is gone now, of course. had to buy some toys for the house to keep me busy ps2 mad games, new bass(spector ns xl 5 string)hehehe. thats about it. got back...mad tightness with the band. everything feels better and more together. better things to come our way...got arrested for pot..boooo, oh well thats what i get for slipping..thats just a few of the things that happened to me, this has been a few months of stuff that went on...i will try to keep my post up more
|Sunday, September 29th, 2002|
|you can see ten feet behind my eyes into nothing.....
confused and fumbling...i saw you driving down the street and the flood gates in the back of head opened up and let you come rushing in. drowing in the warm memory of your embrace. i drown in your memory because its the closest that i can get to you. swiming in an ocean of you and not able to find my way out....so i guess i will stay as long as i can stay a float. under the sun of your ghost, adrift in solice so sourly aquired. but now im slipping into the depths of this bottomless feeling. seeping into every crevis inside, filling my lungs till i cant breath, and im not fighting it..just falling deeper and deeper with this saddness that i fend off in vain. it only takes the glace at you to tear my wall asunder, with out-of-site, out-of-mind my best friend, sure to be alone in my time of standing against you...then i will give into wanting you around....i dont want to feel this...i miss you Current Mood: sad
|Sunday, September 22nd, 2002|
|..........sleep and awake are starting to blur and mean nothing
this last 3 weeks have been so fucking long. im up at 5:30 in the morning to that i can listing try to lie there way out of paying thier direct tv bill...but i havent even got on the phones yet..i took my test for activations, techincal, sports, and PPV...
i was pretty sure i was going to bomb every fucking test. but i passed every single one..very surprised. spent the rest of the day dodging having to get on the phone, sneaking out for a break with anyone i could go with. found out they threw the lunch that i had sitting in there for like 3 days..i dont know that i would have eaten it today..i probably would have forgotten it again..um...starred at this girl like a looser...but i was bored and she was nice to look at...and she kept looking back at me but it was either interest or disgust..my guess is digust.
alas i went to jakes but he was looking like he was in sick er in a bad mood er something....started to wonder if its something i did, but then i dont know what i did..so im just being paranoid. i always think its my fault..egomaniac
got drunker than i have ever been on friday..drank two free mad dogs in like an hour and a half, hanging out with a friend at the gas station he works at. then smoked (not supposed to) got even sicker. threw up before i smoked, threw up again on the way home..felt like shit run over twice... then stepped on. came home threw my close in the washer. went to sleep. and my adventure in alcohol was over and so is this post Current Mood: blah
|Thursday, September 19th, 2002|
|ill give you a bad dye job; you dirty whore!!
all i did was hit basstalk.com and tear it apart for information. its the best fucking site for bass players. i have looked all over this piece of shit and that is the only site that even begun to answer my questions. i like, i started to rant on a topic and i thougth i would put it on here too so enjoy..
"man i have been in alot of bands, and before, i got in the band that im in now, i had to make mad compentation for lack of.....liking the music. usually i would keep in the band just to have someone to jam with, do some shows, one band, two bands, hip-hop, metal, rock, keep buliding my own style, even when really, i didnt like what was going on musically. i never really quit unless i was just not feeling the music, i would have to feel that it was, pretty lame, at the risk of sounding like a ****. but sometimes even then i would play just to see what i could do with it, just to see if i could find some kind of insperation from my self while playing music. i also have this really bad habit of doing what ever i think fits...i dont like solo over ppl er any crap like that, just, if i thought it needed some flavor i would add some pop, chords, slap, fills and so on. after so many bands you find one that you can connect with, you find what your looking for in the least likely of places...i thought i was in some music meca cause i lived in houston, then i moved to the valley. and i was just like "damn, good luck finding something here" but i would rush ppl in public if i found anything from like a band shirt to a sticker, i didnt care. "say man you know anyone that needs a bass player!" i was really hungry to start some project er something. i found a band a we did slipknot covers, heheh it was fun, did the masks and the whole nine, but when it came to writing the music, i couldnt do anything with it. joined the band im with now FED OF ME. the guitarist played something for me and it was like nothing i had ever heard before, it defenitly peaked my interest. from there i found that i could really play like i wanted to and it came naturally it fit and it nursed my style. got into some new artist from the other members, and from there i have really just grown with everyone else and it feels like a "real" band. with all the work and fun that im having and most of all the music is good, finally found a band that is an outlet as well as music that i like and i have never felt stronger or deeper about what im doing before. you know what im saying. sorry for the life story, the subject is close to the heart....good topic"
groove in the soul, anger in the heart, hostile in the delivery.........
well that is all for now...im pretty tired and all that.
|Wednesday, September 18th, 2002|
|deep down inside....my mouth is drooling from bordom
bordom is on high. i hate to use the term bordom..."bordom sets into the boring mind",that kinda stuck with me. i dont think that i have ever spent so much time on thing before..im actually looking thru my sisters account for ppl cause i dont really read anyone elses bios. kinda thinking about putting a back ground up and shit..noo doubt it will be something that only i would like....that seems to be a recuring theme with me..i only like what i like...well at least when it comes to the general populace. im not that good when i comes to the general populace either. i try to talk and be "cool" but it doesnt work, well i can say stupid shit to make ppl laugh and what not, but when it comes to talking about things that matter..the things that matter to them and that they talk about are kinda of no interest..i dont watch tv, so i dont really watch all the retarded new shows, well some, but only in bits and pieces. i dotn really tell stories when others start to. they are all kinda from here and all know each other..so if they ever stop talking to each other. they just ask each other who they know. mayhaps im just an ass....it has been said before..but then everyone has been called an ass so im not gonna hold it to my self.i dotn know i try to talk, but i can feel when im about to say things that others are not going to be....how do i put it....ehh i should probably just not care...i just get bored(there is that word again) and start to think about all this shit...boooo. sleep is nice and thats where im off to..tomorrow will be better, i know it will...(forgive my shitty spelling, just incase) Current Mood: contemplative